Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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