Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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