I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
