I'm eating all of the evidence.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
