oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My penis needs a shock collar
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
