Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
