We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize