its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize