In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Let's get the cat blown out
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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