Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
