youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
