I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
