margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Blood and glitter go together right?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
