i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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