I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
