here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Randomize
