Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
