im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I love having hate sex.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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