Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
