An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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