Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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