U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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