If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
