those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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