there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
