So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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