Are we in a gay sports bar?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
