Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
