Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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