I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
it was like eating out sand paper
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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