I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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