Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
This house was built for laser tag.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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