I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize