Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
