Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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