normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
