I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
