so that wasnt chicken after all
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize