...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
