How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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