My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize