At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
