Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
love makes seman taste better
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
