i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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