Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
