I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
