I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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