Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just invented taco cereal.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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