you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
