so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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