your parents love me but you hate me
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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