I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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