i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
