Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
