i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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