White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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