New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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