..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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