Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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