I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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