oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
