Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
