just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize