so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize