Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It's official drugs can't kill me
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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