If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
